2018 books in review

So I fell off the reviewing cliff. I couldn’t sustain it, with work and life. Meh. Shit happens. I’m going to do my annual analysis of my reading habits to see if I improved on my diverse readingness (spoiler: not really). I also wanted to share my fave books from 2018.

How many, and what?

I read 62 books in 2018. I’m as shocked as you are. Some of them were graphic novels, true, which are quicker to read. Nice visual below.

Diversity

Out of the 62 books I read, some were by the same author (sequels, series etc). Some had multiple authors (every author is counted). I have not counted unique authors, rather, the books themselves. For instance, I read 5 graphic novels by Brian K Vaughan and counted each one because it’s about the books I’ve read.

Compared to last year, my gender breakdown is not too different. 66% of the books I read were authored by women (65% last year). 31% were by men (35% last year). Two books were written by gender diverse authors.

Where I really fell down was cultural background. While it’s tricky to guess cultural background where it’s not stated, to the best of my knowledge 85% of the books I read were authored by white writers. 14% by writers of colour, and 1 I really couldn’t be sure so I’ve left that out of my analysis. White women dominated again (55%), with white men at 28%. Women of colour were at 9% and men of colour at 4%. 1 of the gender diverse authors was a person of colour, and the other white.

The reasons for this are varied. All of the repeat authors I read were white. Removing the repeats improves the split but not by much (82:16). Another reason is I often read based on recommendations by friends. I was very keen to read for pleasure this year and I had a vast list of books I wanted to read, and a lot of them were white writers. I had to intentionally (again) seek out books by writers of colour, because I don’t organically stumble across them in the way I do books by white writers. That really highlights the importance of making their stories visible.

Fiction vs Non-fiction

Fiction dominated the landscape of my reading, no surprises there. I read 57 fiction books compared with 5 non-fiction.

Enjoyment

I read far fewer mediocre books this year. The vast majority of books I enjoyed in some way. There were really only a handful I found terrible. Hooray for not being bound by a challenge ;).

Favourites

In no particular order:

Days of Blood and Starlight by Laini Taylor

I loved the first book in this trilogy but this second book was fucking amazing. So unbelievably dark and a great antidote to the sappy romance in the first book ;). I LOVED it.

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

This was like… coming home to friends and fun. While the story is nothing spectacular I just adored the characters and the optimism.

The Paper House by Anna Spargo-Ryan

This hurt my heart and made me think a lot.

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

So powerful!

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

Gosh I enjoyed this. Intelligent and interesting.

Bird Box by Josh Malerman

I can’t praise this enough. It is brilliant. Read it.

The Salt Line by Holly Goddard Jones

Another one I thoroughly enjoyed. Great story and pacing, excellent setting, etc.

Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor

I don’t know what it is about her romances but they suck me in every time. And I am a cynical bastard. Also her writing is amazing.

I also really enjoyed each and every non-fiction I read.

Ok that’s enough from me. 2018 out!

July and August books

Frankenstein in Baghdad

Ahmed Saadawi

Genre: Horror

This made the shortlist of the International Man Booker Prize and I was really intrigued by the premise. In short, a scavenger in Baghdad constructs a corpse from the body parts of people killed in suicide bombings and a series of incidents brings it to “life”. I wanted to love it but I didn’t really connect with the characters at all and the story kind of petered out without a satisfying resolution.

The Salt Line

Holly Goddard-Jones

Genre: Science fiction (dystopia)

This one is set in a future where a killer tick has basically driven humanity into enclaves. Our characters, for various reasons, set off on a tourist trip beyond the “salt line” and get a little more than they bargained for. I found the story really compelling and the characters were well developed. Highly recommend!

Beloved

Toni Morrison

Genre: Historical fiction / ghost story

Oh wow, this was a painful and moving read. It’s based on a real historical event (an escaped slave killed her child and attempted to kill her other children when she was found rather than sending them back to a life of slavery). It’s also a ghost story… I don’t feel I can say much more than that. Definitely worth reading but I had to take frequent breaks.

Howl’s Moving Castle

Diana Wynne Jones

Genre: Fantasy (children’s fiction)

Such a fun read, a little predictable in places but Diana Wynne Jones is such a good storyteller I still enjoyed it.

The Only Harmless Great Thing

Brooke Bolander

Genre: Alternate future (novella)

I wish this had been a novel! So good. Brooke Bolander ties together two historical events (the radium girls and the electrocution of an Indian elephant on Coney Island) to create her alternate vision of the future, one where elephants can speak (elephant sign language of course) and humans need to make reparation. Very raw and powerful and I was left wanting more (novel length!!!)

The Invention of Wings

Sue Monk-Kidd

Genre: Historical fiction

Based on the life of Sarah Grimke, The Invention of Wings is the story of Sarah and Handful (a completely fictional character). Sarah Grimke was an early pioneer in the abolitionist movement and in doing so, also fought for women’s rights. The character of Handful is a slave trying to win her freedom and full equality. Sue Monk-Kidd researched the lives of Sarah and Angelina Grimke very thoroughly, and that story is very compelling, but I’m not sure how I feel about Handful’s story. I think Handful’s story does a good job of forcing Sarah to confront her failings as an abolitionist, and Handful develops as a character in her own right (not just as a plot device to make Sarah grow). I do feel a little uncomfortable when white writers write slavery as I’d prefer to read own voices on matters such as these (I can understand though not wanting to just make the story all about the “white saviour”). All that said, I did enjoy it.

The Geek Feminist Revolution

Kameron Hurley

Genre: Essays

I read “We have always fought” back when it was first published online and the Geek Feminist Revolution is a collection of essays from Hurley’s blog. She’s quite insightful, and while I didn’t agree with every single argument she made I agreed with the vast majority of them. Very well written too.

June books

June was a slow reads month and I suspect July will be too!

Nexus (Zeroes #3)

Scott Westerfeld, Margo Lanagan, Deborah Biancotti

Genre: YA science fiction

The finale to the Zeroes trilogy, I really enjoyed Nexus. This one took me no time at all to read!

The Silence

Tim Lebbon

Genre: Horror

Some huge similarities between A Quiet Place and The Silence, but some big differences too. The monsters are bat-like in The Silence, and of course because it is a novel we get much more development. I didn’t quite buy how invincible the vesps were, but it was a compelling read nonetheless.

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body

Roxane Gay

Genre: Memoir

Painful read, though the author is never explicit about the abuse she suffered as a child. As someone who hasn’t has disordered eating or ongoing issues with weight it was a moving insight into how society treats fat people and fatness in general. Very raw, very powerful, very worthwhile read.

May books

Weapons of Math Destruction: How Big Data increases inequality and threatens democracy

Cathy O’Neil

Genre: Non-fiction

I read about this book in an article about algorithms (specifically how algorithms develop mental health problems). It sounded interesting and it really was, even though it’s a few years old now and very much situated in the US context. Some of the scenarios she writes about don’t apply here in Australia, however, I can see that they might be used in coming years if we’re not vigilant. O’Neil begins by establishing her background and what drove her out of that industry (recognising the central role math without ethics played in the GFC and how there have been no real changes to ensure it doesn’t happen again). She then outlines her criteria for what constitutes a weapon of math destruction: essentially an algorithm that is opaque, can impact on people’s lives in mass scale and that is not improved and refined through feedback. The examples she gives through a range of areas of life (medical insurance, hiring practices, teacher evaluations, college admission, prison sentencing, etc) are pretty chilling. It was a slow read but I’m glad I stuck with it because it is very good to be aware of this stuff!

Bird Box

Josh Malerman

Genre: Horror

Wow this was so good. The premise, the pacing, the characters. The writing style was simplistic but I was cool with that as it just kept the focus on the story. The way Malerman used the timelines to build suspense was brilliant: even though I knew something had happened, I didn’t know what, and I didn’t know what the full impact was going to be. I was on the edge of my seat and even though our main character Malorie was difficult to really empathise with (she’s quite detached but I could rationalise it as a trauma response), I was emotionally invested in the characters and the outcomes. Very very very good, highly recommend.

Gods, Monsters and the Lucky Peach

Kelly Robson

Genre: Science fiction

This is such a cool little story (it’s a novella) with some really excellent characters and world-building and ideas. The ending did let it down: it was a short story ending and I felt extremely dissatisfied by it BUT I would say it’s definitely worth reading anyway for everything that comes before.

A Song for Summer

Eva Ibbotson

Genre: Historical romance?

Hmmm. This was so not what I was expecting. I was actually expecting something Narnia-esque with a romantic subplot but no. There is no fantasy in this, be warned. Our main character is a perfect traditional woman, even though her mother and aunties are suffragettes. She likes nothing more than to care for other people, cook, bake and clean. She gets a job as a house mother in a boarding school in Austria and sets about fixing all of the problems. This is set against the looming spectre of Hitler and Nazism. The mysterious gardener ends up being Someone Important and she falls in love with him and he with her but I’m not sure how or why as they barely seem to spend any time with each other. Anyway, I guess I’m not the target audience for books like these. I found the historical stuff quite interesting and it is well written but the characters were kind of tropey and I really disliked the undercurrent of “feminists are actually unhappy and miserable and to be truly happy women must embrace traditional gender roles” because um fuck that shit.

Paper Girls #1

Brian K. Vaughan, Cliff Chiang

Genre: Science fiction graphic novel

My local library had #1 and it had been recommended by a fellow librarian so I decided to check it out to see if I want to buy the deluxe. It’s pretty weird and I suspect just reading the first one isn’t enough to suck me in. There’s some kind of weird shit going down in this suburb and there are time travellers who have Apple devices and it feels like the Apocalypse in a religious sense except it’s clearly not and we’re following 4 girls who are trying to do their paper route. I have no real idea what’s going on. But it’s fun? So I may read on for a bit longer and see if it sucks me in.

The Yellow House

Emily O’Grady

Genre: Serious literature

AKA this was really depressing. I’d say it’s a slow creeping horror written in literary style. I had lots of complicated thoughts at the end at the difference between slow build horror with no fantastical elements and this depressing literary genre. I think the latter focuses more on character, but I wasn’t really buying the characters in The Yellow House. In particular, Cassie’s character arc made no sense to me. Perhaps filtered through Cub’s eyes I missed something, but even taken from several angles it still didn’t work. I mean, I think the book makes some really interesting commentary about crime and its ripple effects and how families implode and how communities fail but I was head-desking so much at the characters. Also, Cub. She felt like the invisible witness and her character arc was almost flat. I did pick up on her rejection of her life’s trajectory but that ending almost smothered me in its disempowerment. While the writing was really good I just had a hard time actually getting invested in the story and didn’t enjoy getting to know the characters. Maybe they were too believable? But their actions unbelievable. Maybe the core of the problem I had with it. Still not sure.

April books

The Trauma Cleaner:One Woman’s Extraordinary Life in the Business of Death, Decay, and Disaster

Sarah Krasnostein

Genre: Biography

The story of Sandra Pankhurst, a woman with a trans history who is a trauma cleaner (i.e. cleans up houses after suicides and deaths where the body has been undiscovered a while, also hoarders’ houses etc). A lot of reviewers seem to have an issue with the unreliability of Sandra’s memories. I’m all good with unreliable narrators, and I think the author did a good job of tracking down what evidence she could to either corroborate or contradict Sandra’s recollections. I found some of Sandra’s history incredibly painful to read—Sandra isn’t beyond criticism but at the same time I can understand why she made the choices she made out of self-protection. The stuff about the trauma cleaning is also really interesting and sad. Definitely worth reading.

Anya’s Ghost

Vera Brosgol

Genre: YA graphic novel, ghost story

Anya is a US teenager whose family is from Russia. Like a lot of YA graphic novels, the book examines themes of fitting in and exclusion. Anya falls down a well and discovers a skeleton. The ghost attached to that skeleton helps save Anya and hitches a ride out of the well with her. Over time Anya begins to realise the ghost isn’t as benevolent as she first appeared. I really enjoyed this, the illustrations are great and the story better than the last few YA graphic novels I’ve read.

Picnic at Hanging Rock

Joan Lindsay

Genre: Classic, Australian

I’d never read this so I decided to educate myself. It’s a quick read, I finished it in a day. I can see why it would have been a huge thing in its time. I wanted to get to know the girls more before they went missing because I didn’t really care about them. The ending was pretty shocking; WTF!? An odd little book, really.

The Girl Who Owned a City

O.T. Nelson

Genre: Post-apocalypse, graphic novel version (YA)

Oh geez. I was expecting something totally different. I kind of hated this. All the adults are dead, and the kids have to band together to survive. Sounds great yeah? No. The main character, Lisa, is so unlikeable. It’s always a bit weird when the cultural differences between the US and Australia become really visible; there’s a thick thread of white survivalism (someone on Goodreads said neoliberalism) in this. Lisa is going on about how she deserves everything because she’s smart and hardworking and makes everyone else work for her. It’s HER city. And while there are about two panels devoted to her asking if she’s wrong and the others are right, ultimately she dismisses that train of thought and goes back to being the ruler of the city. It’s pretty fucking awful.

Shtum

Jem Lester

Genre: Modern fiction

I have very mixed feels about this book. Written by a father of an autistic child, told from the POV of the alcoholic father of an autistic child. I had such a visceral response to the depiction of the autistic boy that I had to put it down for a few days while I recovered. It made me feel awful. Everything is filtered through the lens of the father, and he’s not a very likeable person, particularly in the beginning. As the novel progresses you start to understand his own childhood trauma and see the way intergenerational trauma is the fucked up gift that keeps on fucking everyone up. I’ve read that the portrayal of the mother becomes more sympathetic toward the latter part of the book but in telling the story only from his perspective I completely disagree. She is always distanced and it’s hard to really empathise with her, even as we find out more of her story. The most interesting part of the book for me was the slow reveal of the grandfather’s story and the family history. It was a pretty upsetting read, all in all.

The Fish Girl

Mirandi Riwoe

Genre: Historical fiction with a post-colonial lens?

Beautifully written and tragic. Written as a response to the short story The Four Dutchmen. I loved it (though it is heartbreaking).

The White Road

Sarah Lotz

Genre: Horror

I admire the lengths Sarah Lotz goes to in order to research for her books. She went caving in Wales and to Everest base camp. If only I could afford to do that! But anyway, The White Road is a creeping horror with sensed presence, with a main character who has a self-destructive streak. I actually really enjoyed it up until the end. I appreciated the immersed-ness of the cave scenes and the Everest stuff; her research paid off as those settings were impeccable. Apart from the end, very fun read.

Station Eleven

Emily St John Mandel

Genre: Post-apocalyptic science fiction

I’ve heard mixed reviews about this but I actually appreciated it. A killer flu wipes out 99% of humankind and this story jumps around in the timeline to develop characters, mostly centred around Arthur Leander. The way Mandel writes about mundane, little things that have been lost and may never be experienced again made me strangely emotional. I never felt too close to any of the characters, but I still enjoyed getting to know them. It’s really well written and quite an optimistic post-apoc, really.

Borne

Jeff Vandermeer

Genre: Weird science fiction (post-apoc/dystopia)

There is a giant flying bear.

And Borne kinda reminds me of B.O.B from Monsters vs Aliens. Except Borne is way cooler and more intriguing.

So this is weird, some shit has gone down, climate change has wreaked havoc and there is biotech everywhere and the Company engineered Mord the flying bear and Rachel the scavenger finds Borne and everything happens. (Honestly the most surreal thing is that her name is Rachel). The pacing was a bit draggy in bits and I did give myself a bit of a shove to the end but I did really like the ending and I thought it was very good. Definitely recommend if you like weird sci fi.

Nimona

Noelle Stevenson

Genre: Fantasy graphic novel YA

I loved this so much! Nimona is a young shapeshifter who informs our supervillain, Blackheart, that she will be his new sidekick. I adored the relationship between Blackheart and Nimona and the relationship between Goldenloin and Blackheart. The illustrations are beautiful and the story is great, honestly just fabulous!

Poseidon’s Bastard Son

I made another audio poem! I’m so excited, this is the first audio poem I’ve made with my new set up (a Christmas present from my partner). I’ve been working on a new piece but stalled so decided to give this poem another chance.

Poseidon’s Bastard Son was written in 2015, and has been performed as a spoken word poem at SpeedPoets. For a long time I had no idea how I would set it to music, even though I knew I wanted to. I got myself a little music notebook a couple of months ago and one night I had an idea for a little “riff”. I wrote it down in the notebook and recorded it on my flute and started layering from there. The final piece sounds like a flute ensemble—there are 5 flute voices by the second half, but they were all performed by me. I have also used creative commons samples (see below for attribution). Also big thanks to my partner for mixing and critique ;).

It’s taken several weeks to get this finished, as it can be difficult to record audio with children in the house! I hope you enjoy :).

Samples

IllusiaProductions. (2014). Different birds, birds swimming, wind, footsteps.wav. (CC-BY)

Pillonoise. (2015). Mallard and mandarin ducks (with take off). (CC0)

Soundbytez. (2010). roseate_spoonbill02.wav. (CC-BY)

Image credit

Master Humphrey’s Clock. (1840). Retrieved April 21, 2018, from Wikimedia Commons.

March books

The Boy on the Bridge

M. R. Carey

Genre: Post-apocalyptic, “zombie”

The Boy on the Bridge is a prequel to The Girl With All the Gifts. It tells the story of the crew of the Rosalind Franklin. I have very mixed feelings about this book. It made me cry, but honestly that might have been an anger reaction!

What I liked: Stephen Greaves. I appreciated the representation of an autistic teenager even if, at times, the characterisation seemed a little stereotypical. In particular, I thought Carey did a good job of showing how different Stephen’s inner world was to his external presentation. A lot of Stephen’s mannerisms are very familiar to me as I see them in my son. Others, not at all (every autistic person is different). I also loved the relationship between Khan and Stephen, and I don’t want to stray into spoiler territory so I can’t really keep going. I enjoyed reading the story of Rosie’s crew and what happened to them, and the little foray into the post-Girl world.

What I disliked: I really couldn’t understand the Sealey/Khan thing. There was absolutely no apparent reason for that. It made more sense to me as a one-off, oopsie… but I didn’t buy it as an ongoing thing. I also think Carey didn’t do anywhere as near a good job on the characterisation as he did in The Girl. I hated a lot of the characters and never got any sense of their motivations or their tragedy, like I did in The Girl. That was pretty disappointing. But mostly, I can’t forgive him for what happens at the end of chapter 60. In particular, the last 2 lines of that chapter. No, just no. One, autistic people find change hard but they *can* change. Two, the only reason Stephen struggled so badly was the inexplicable awfulness of the adults around him (except Khan). ANYONE would struggle with that kind of hostility. That bit struck me as egregious ableism and it was personally upsetting. I can think of several different ways that scene could have played out that would have worked for the story and not fallen into a tired trope. So yeah, very mixed.

Resurrection Bay

Emma Viskic

Genre: Crime/thriller?

Sorry about the vague genreisation, it’s outside my usual reading fare. Resurrection Bay has some really cool aspects. I did pick the main twist/reveal pretty early on, not sure how I feel about that. There was a lot to like about this book and I read it quite fast… there was something lacking for me so I wouldn’t say it was brilliant, but very enjoyable.

The Real Boy

Anne Ursu

Genre: Fantasy (middle grade)

The Real Boy caught my eye a while back as a kids’ book recommended for a depiction of an autistic character. While Oscar is never labelled as such within the book (it’s set in a fantasy world, after all) the behaviours and inner world clearly depict a neurodiverse child trying to fit in. I really liked this book, it unfolded in ways I didn’t expect and the slowly blossoming friendship between Oscar and Callie was lovely.

The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate

Jacqueline Kelly

Genre: Historical fiction (middle grade)

Calpurnia is a (white) girl in 1899, in America’s South, and she wants to be a scientist. I’m sure you can imagine her family isn’t too keen on that, except for her grandfather who is himself a naturalist and encourages Callie’s interest. I appreciated the sophistication of the character-building and while at first I was a little let down by the ending, I think there are more books to come that may provide more resolution. My only real criticism was that I think the author backed away from examining racial politics–there was a little bit but not really enough. In all, I loved the book and it’s probably my favourite from the month.

Djinn City

Saad Hossain

Genre: Fantasy (urban fantasy I guess)

This book. Wowsers. Ok it took me a while to read, it was so incredibly dense and unexpected. It was also funny and grim in ways I didn’t anticipate. The story focuses mostly on Indelbed, the son of a human emissary to the djinn, his cousin Rais, and Kaikobad (who is Indelbed’s father). There’s a bit of a mystery going on and everyone is running around trying to put all the puzzle pieces together. It was very well written and so so interesting but the ending made me go aaaargh! I don’t want to reveal too much, because spoilers, but yeah I totally did NOT see it panning out like that and I felt a bit miffed. I only just finished it though so I may mellow with some processing. In all though it’s a very very good book and I’d definitely recommend.

February books

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet

Becky Chambers

Genre: Space opera

This book was such a lighthearted welcome relief to all of the heavy stuff I’d been reading. It felt like watching a progressive sitcom set in space, and while I can see on Goodreads there are some (mostly male) reviewers who totally didn’t appreciate it, for me it ticked some very fun boxes. I thought the alien species were particularly well done and imaginative, and the story was enjoyable without ever getting really down.

Amatka

Karin Tidbeck

Genre: Weird dystopia

Amatka is quite unusual. I read it in a day when home sick, and at the end I desperately wanted someone to talk to about it. Alas! I’m a fan of Tidbeck’s short stories, and I enjoyed Amatka while also puzzling over it. There are some criticisms that the characters are distanced and I think that is the point, but I agree it would have been better to see why the relationship was developing between Vanja and Nina as it didn’t really feel natural. The ending, for me, turned all of what had been building on its head. I think a lot of readers struggle to make sense of the ending, but for me I was left questioning my own sympathies; who was actually the “bad side” and who the good?

Friends With Boys

Faith Erin Hicks

Genre: YA graphic novel – high school drama ish

I really loved the illustration style of Friends With Boys and enjoyed Maggie’s story and the unfolding of her attempts to find her place in the school. It felt a little aimless though, with one major plot point going unresolved. Fun light read.

This One Summer

Mariko Tamaki

Genre: YA graphic novel – growing up

I’m a bit ambivalent about this one. Again, gorgeous illustrations, and some really interesting themes explored but I found Rose to be quite difficult to empathise with. Windy was super fun and while younger than Rose, seemed less self-absorbed. I have some concerns with the way one of the plot points was presented—I’m not denying it would play out that way IRL, but I would have hoped Rose was given more critical perspective of her own damaging internalised misogyny. Ultimately I’d want teenage girls to read this and learn why Rose’s perspective was sexist, not just see it play out almost unchallenged. Anyway. It is what it is.

In Real Life

Cory Doctorow

Genre: YA graphic novel gaming

I appreciate Doctorow’s intentions with this novel. Anything that prods the privileged child to think about right and wrong and how disadvantage shapes our opportunities and choices is a good thing, IMO. I do think the resolution was a little too simplistic and white saviour-esque, will kids pick up on that, probably not.

The Hate U Give

Angie Thomas

Genre: YA Race and racism

I loved this book. It was so good, and I wish every teenager would read it. It dives headfirst into the issue of Black deaths at the hands of trigger happy cops. The protagonist is the sole witness to the killing of a Black teenager at the hands of a white cop. So very good and gave me a lot more insight into that issue. My fave from this month.

The Prey of Gods

Nicky Drayden

Genre: Science fiction

SUCH an ambitious novel! It’s set in South Africa, the characters are wildly diverse and imaginative and interesting, and the world-building is fascinating (the dik-diks made me cackle with glee). I didn’t have much of an emotional connection to the characters for the first half of the book, they kept doing kinda awful things but I started to connect with them after that. I think Stoker was my favourite character, but I really enjoyed Nomvula’s journey too. There was so much going on that I think it did unravel a little bit at times but it was still super cool and I’m impressed at the chances Drayden took. Much better to take risks and give it your all rather than writing something safe and bland. Looking forward to reading more of her work. One of my faves this month.

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail

Cheryl Strayed

Genre: Memoir / hiking

Strayed seems to have copped a lot of flak in Goodreads comments and it struck me as I was reading them how some people really have no sense of empathy. I mostly enjoyed Wild, and the problems I had with it stemmed from some moments where the author displays a lack of self-awareness. A lot of the comments are slut-shaming and someone thought Strayed hadn’t had enough of a bad time to warrant writing a memoir. Le sigh. While reading it I discovered that one of the things I love about reading books is getting to know people: whether they be real people or imagined characters. So I empathised with Strayed in the early chapters and laughed at her naive stupidity regarding her lack of preparation. To the naysayers, she was prepared enough to be carrying iodine, eh? I probably got a bit turned off at “Queen of the PCT”—IDK, by that point I was looking for a little humility and self-reflection. So I guess my reaction to the book overall is mixed. I’d love to read a memoir by a WOC who’s done some extreme adventuring, any recs?

Love Minus Eighty

Will McIntosh

Genre: Science fiction (a bit Black Mirror without the depressing awfulness)

This was a slow burn for me but I grew to really enjoy it. At first I struggled because of the world (remember that Black Mirror episode where you can block someone and actually not see them in the streets? Yeah a bit like that). I HATE the thought of living in a world like that. And at first the characters annoyed me. BUT. Veronika and Rob (and strangely, Lycan) made it all worthwhile. The bridesicle premise is pretty cool but don’t think about it too hard. One of my faves from this month.

January books

Affinity

Sarah Waters

Genre: Historical fiction ghost story?

Awww. This book. I didn’t like this one as much as I liked Fingersmith. It’s not that it was bad, it just… well, I actually can’t say anything because spoilers.

Y: The Last Man

Brian K Vaughan, Pia Guerra, Jose Marzan Jr

Genre: Science fiction graphic novel

I read the 5 deluxe editions, not back to back but 2-5 almost back to back. 1 was ok, but Yorick annoyed me in that book. I enjoyed the next books more, though, as Yorick became less cocky and we got more Allison Mann (who is my fave character). I admit there was a point in book 4 or 5 where I really felt smothered by the author’s maleness–I guess I thought his vision of a post-male future was a little limited by his own gender experience. It’s a great story though, minus some flaws.

Days of Blood and Starlight

Laini Taylor

Genre: Dark Fantasy

The sequel to Daughter of Smoke and Bone was not what I expected. It’s like the Empire Strikes Back of the original Star Wars trilogy, a dark night of the soul. I loved it and over 2 days went on a crazy emotional rollercoaster reading it. I had to put it down in some points, because I was too invested and just couldn’t deal. I enjoyed the way the stakes were risen, the character development, everything. I reckon stronger than the first book.

Dreams of Gods and Monsters

Laini Taylor

Genre: Dark Fantasy

The final book in the trilogy… I was a little irritated by too much authorial telling. I’d get to the end of a section and the author’s voice would intrude and tell us everything was about to go to shit. I like surprises, rather than suspense being raised artificially, so it became a huge point of annoyance. Thankfully it did stop and I enjoyed the resolution. It did feel like maybe she packed far too much into this third book but I was also glad to get some answers to some subplots introduced later into the whole trilogy.

Extinctions

Josephine Wilson

Genre: “Literary”

I am not a huge reader of “literary” books unless they are flavoured in some way. I did see a recommendation in a book group so I decided to give it a try. I quite liked it, as an exploration of the impact of toxic masculinity on relationships (friendships, child-parent, romantic etc) and how the main character tries to undo all the damage he’s done before it’s too late. The strength in this book is the characterisation and the um, interiority (ok I feel like a dick using that word). Like a lot of “literary” books there is no real ending, leaving you to guess at what happens beyond the final page. Excellent writing too, hooray!

Sensitive Creatures

Mandy Ord

Genre: Slice of life graphic novel

Ord has created a bunch of vignettes about situations in life from the perspective of someone who is a bit sensitive, anxious, overthinky etc. I adored her depiction of a mosh pit as it’s the most accurate portrayal of my own one experience in a mosh pit (never again). Very quick read and very entertaining.

Alone on the Wall

Alex Honnold & David Roberts

Genre: Memoir (climbing)

I’ve wanted to read this ever since I found out it existed. It’s written by both Alex and David. Alex mostly recounts his climbs and some aspects of his life, while David seeks out commentary from significant people in Alex’s life and does research around events. It’s a great balance between Alex’s subjective perspective and what those around him feel and think about what he’s doing. The allure of Alex Honnold is difficult to explain: he’s a rock climber who, at times, climbs without any aid at all (other than his climbing shoes and chalk bag). I’m not talking bouldering, I’m talking proper mountain faces. The stakes are obvious and he’s garnered quite a bit of fame. It’s his take on risk that I find interesting, as it aligns pretty well with my own. I could never do what he does, but that’s because I’m nowhere near as prepared as he is, and never will be. Anyway, I love climbing so I had to read this and I consumed it in a day. Lots of look up now!

The Paper House

Anna Spargo-Ryan

Genre: Literary?

Oh wow do I have feels after reading this. In short, it’s about a woman descending into grief after her baby’s in-utero death and subsequent stillbirth. It’s interspersed with childhood flashbacks to her mother, who suffered an undefined mental illness (but most importantly is deeply depressed). The writing is beautiful and intriguing, with the use of a lot of metaphors to serve to both filter our perspective and warp reality. Halfway through I posted on twitter that I felt I was looking at the world standing on my head, but it’s more than that.

As Heather’s break with reality becomes more pronounced I got angrier and angrier with how shitty her family were to her. Both as a child (the oblivious cruelty of her father is very distressing) and now as an adult. It made me dwell on the awful way we (as a society) treat women who are suffering (and Heather’s suffering is perfectly reasonable and explainable, she is GRIEVING). It made me think of how we’re expected to nurture others but can’t expect anyone to nurture us. Even this exchange between Heather and her dad:

‘I always had to be there for her. And I did it because I loved her and she was my wife, all those reasons. But when you’re the partner, no one looks at you.’

‘Right. Poor Dave.’

‘Don’t be like that. You’re not listening. Being the “sick one”‘ — he made air quotes — ‘gets attention. Caring for the sick one is exhausting. Seriously, you have no idea.’

I clenched my jaw. ‘I have some idea.’

Bear in mind that her dad was a FIFO worker and the child Heather took on a lot of the burden of emotionally caring for her mother… and then bear in mind that she’s just lost a baby and is being told to consider her partner’s feelings (which in and of itself isn’t unreasonable but HE’S TELLING THE WRONG PERSON). There is another exchange between Dave and her dad closer to the end that I won’t quote, but holy shit.

I’m unsure what the author’s intentions were regarding the reading of family dynamics, and I’m aware we all bring our own experiences into reading stories (I’ve been a depressed mother, though never of the flavour of the typical literary depressed mother), but all I could see was how unsupported Heather was in her grief. That other people around her saw her as a ticking time bomb because of her mother’s illness, and that in turn made them unable to see her and what she needed from them. There is definitely a lot to be said for the exhaustion of caring for someone with a mental illness, but it seemed to me Heather and her mother weren’t cared for as much as they were endured (I like to think Dave breaks this cycle, eventually, though). I’m still processing this story, but I feel pretty fierce about it.

2017 — the year of not writing

I was so unbelievably tempted to not write a recap of my year. But they are good to look back on so here I am.

I sold no stories. I published no stories. I barely wrote. I barely created anything other than assignments for university. Ouch.

I moved house. I did fieldwork. I finished a job contract and got another (short) and then another (short) and got job interviews and rejections and stressed out and then I finally got a job. I now work full time in an academic library. And, importantly, I graduated!

In a familiar theme from previous years, I struggled to find time to climb and run and hike and do all those lovely fun things. I did do True Grit though, and I climbed a bit. I did my first (and last) trail race. Also did several hikes. The highlight was climbing Mt Beerwah—it was terrifying and amazing!

I read a lot! 2017 was probably the year of reading, really.

For Christmas I received a music set up to allow me to compose and record my own music/poems. So expect to hear some audio poems soon as I grapple with learning the technology/hardware.

Creatively, 2017 is best described as a long inhale. Who knows if I’ll manage to exhale anything of worth next year? I’d like to. It’s time to scrabble back some semblance of my creative self.

For memories, I’m going to share my favourite family photos from the year:

The teenager now has blue hair

Birthday morning: “It’s not learning, it’s fun!”

Engaging with people before presents

Sums us up pretty well really.

Of note: my youngest is starting prep next year. It’s a huge thing and something that may cause some angst, so there may be some reflecting about that at the end of next year!

As is my tradition, I looked through my photos to find my favourite photo of me from this year. I can’t go past this one of me scrambling down Mt Beerwah.

2017 was exhausting, in every way imaginable. It was a giant rollercoaster of happenings and my resilience was put to the test. Here’s to exploring the unknowns of 2018, without the stress of study and job hunting!