While I’m on uni break I am supposed to be spending my spare time editing (and writing), and making visual art. Instead, a clean up of one of those areas that just accumulate crap (and never get cleaned because they’re not important) yielded a pile of sheet music I had been looking for but couldn’t find.
It’s not widely known outside the people I am friends with, but in my past I was a musician. I played the flute. And I was pretty good at it, so I went on to study it at university, which was actually a tremendously stupid thing for me to do. Why? Because I didn’t want to teach, and I didn’t have giant ambitions to become a professional flautist, either. But I was absolutely obsessed with playing, and practiced for hours at a time after school (generally instead of doing maths homework). And, with a bunch of other interests and abilities but nothing quite so consuming and obvious as music, that’s what I did.
University killed my passion. There were a few reasons for that, but the result was I spent my third year doing other arts subjects and gave up performance altogether. So the last time I regularly played my flute was at the beginning of 1999.
Over the years I’ve picked it up, played a few pieces, and put it away again. Over the years I noticed my sight-reading slowly degrade, my tone roughen, my embouchure weaken. For many years after having children I didn’t touch it at all. Playing it just reminded me of all that hard work gone to waste.
Recently I had an idea that I could combine flute sounds with poetry. I have been trying to set up a system for that to work, but I didn’t really need to practice my flute for that. My idea was, some nails-down-the-board kind of sounds, some harmonies, etc. Nothing fancy. But when I found that sheet music, I started to play.
And I have kept playing. I would go so far as to say I’m playing regularly. I’m practicing. I’m hearing my tone become clearer. My sight-reading is improving. I still have a way to go with rapid, intricate passages, but I’m getting better.
So my plans are expanding, but I’m not entirely sure what the end result will be. And I have no idea why I’ve rekindled my obsession, but it would be nice to round out my creative expressions with music, too… music, again.
I shall post here when I have something to show for it.